porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Randomize
