So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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