I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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