my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Enjoy the penises
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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