come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
My ATM looks so different sober.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
