don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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