YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
