i barfeds in our rink
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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