Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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