my mouth tastes like poor choices
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
