fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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