was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
