is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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