that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Randomize
