Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
