i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
