i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize