Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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