i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
