Whod you bang
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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