I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
What did we do last night that was yellow?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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