Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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