I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The beer is more important than you right now.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
