Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
