someone get that fucking seahorse.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize