ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
