yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
