mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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