so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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