dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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