you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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