talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Randomize
