Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
