I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
