Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
My life is pants optional.
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