she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
