Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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