she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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