i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
NoShamevember. You game?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
