Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
