i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
