She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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