im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
