You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
