Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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