Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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