Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
