That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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