Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
i need some magic done to my vagina
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
