From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
