don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
