So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
