omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I AM VODKA MAN
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
