You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize