Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
