definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I want a musical about memes.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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